shunned by a loved one

recently I told the truth not thinking about what it may do to anyone else. I was ask if my stepdaughter was cheating on one of her boyfriends and before i thoughn i said when is she not cheating. Well needless to say it got back to her every word i said and now she wont talk to me or her dad. Christmas came and went and not a word newyears came and went not a word so here i am worried about my grandbabies and cant even talk to them. yes I probably shouldnt have said anything but the truth was out of my mouth before i thought. Some day I hope she forgives me but it doesnt look likely in this life time. jackie nicole I love you but I will not lie for you. I miss aggravating you and talking with you but again i will no longer lie for you or for anyone else.

wish you would call just to let me know you are ok . guess thats wishful thinking too

unexpected therapy

The other day i recieved a phone call from a person who had long been relagated to the past. It brought forward some conflicting emotions that I really didnt know answers too. So I took this opportunity and ask a few questions and found out that my problems from the long ago past wasnt that i wasnt pretty enough or smart enough its that men usually are pigs with nothing on their pea brains absolutely nothing.Not even hot air is wasting its time there, they are clueless but I thank God for the call for it made me realise that I am a beautiful person whos worth is not counted by other peoples thoughts but my own how they view me is of no consequence. Like me, Love me Hate me, Ignore me I am and will always be ME. Take me as I am or not at all for I only change according to Gods will and nothing more

without you

I am sitting here at home alone. My husband had to take care of his dad and wont be home for the night most of my girl friends say wooohoo a free night not me I am down in the dumps for my best friend of 20 years is not here. There have been so many times that I am sure he would have given up on this nut called his wife and I am so glad he didnt for my life without him is absolutely nothing. 20 years later and I love him even more than when I married him. We have been thru a lot and a lot more yet to come but I don’t want to do it without him

WE MADE IT

WE MADE IT THROUGH ANOTHER DAY OF ANNOYING PEOPLE. ONE MORE DAY THAT ENDS WITH MY HEAD ON A LOVELY PILLOW BEING GLAD TO HEAR MY HUSBAND SNORE. JUST SO TIRED OF ATTITUDES OVER THINGS TOTALLY OUT OF MY CONTROL…… MY YAWNING SIGNALS PILLOW TIME SO I HOPE TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING BETTER TOMORROW BUT TO ALL THAT LOOK AT MY BLOG THANK YOU

monday again

here we go its Monday again and we are alive although we should be thankful we groan and grumble and snort and fart until the day is done then we look at as shew glad its over…. well today I am alive I am thankful to have a job a husband and Love. So today will be beautiful and mark the beginning of a brand new week which will be awesome for Im not gonna get down this week

we all have regrets

We may have forgotten to say Im sorry when we hurt someones feelings. We may have decided to tell someone off in the fit of rage we sometimes have. All to regret what is and was said later. Once the words come out of our mouth there is no taking it back. I once wondered what my mom was talking about when she said” loose lips sink ships”. Boy was she ever right, it can ruin a friendship, end a marriage, cost you a job all for a few words that if we had just kept our mouth shut would never have happened. Well regret can take the form of actions as well,bought a car, had an affair, cheated on taxes we all have had our times of regret but we seem to move past them only to repeat it time and again. I thought regret was there to help us remember not to do it again for it was not a good thing.

The little things

Its always the littlest irritations in life that bother you the most. The phone ringing just as  you lay down at night. The dog barking or the loud muffler always making some sort of noise when all you are looking for is silence. The heart beat of life going on around you can annoy a patron saint on a good day but they dont ask us if their noise can invade our space it just is….. wonder if the neighbor down the road is thinking the very same thing at 6pm in the afternoon when your lawnmower cranks and he has justt settled in for his afternoon nap, or the lady down the street who takes a walk every afternoon wonder if the guys dog that is never tied or behind a fence wonder if hed actually bite. there are so many little things out there that annoys us all but we need to remember this earth is not our earth it is Gods earth and the noises of this earth is a sign he hasnt called us home yet so we should be happy that we hear them instead of the grumbling humans we all are we should be thankful for the many little annoyances of life.

unending eternal heartache

why when you have the one you love does the littlest things seem to be pinpricks into your heart that make you feel your whole world will shatter at any given moment. why does it feel like its a never ending process to pick up the pieces and carry on just one more day one more hour. It seems like an eternity but its only been a few minutes the tears fall silently down your cheek in fear that if you make the heart wrenching sounds you want to make that the world will know how many splinters your life really has, all to get up again the next day with a plastered smile for no one really cares how much torment your mind is in all they care is that you tell them you are ok. It absolves them from having to deal with the fact that they may be the ones to have a negative impact, it absolves you from having to say more than fine and how are you. The polite little oddities we do to hide the unending eternal heartbreak of a mind tormented with grief and despair beyond what any scope could ever hope for all hidden behind the most beautiful smile.

its mondayand I heard one more excuse!!!!!!

well today i lived thru another day of wonderless excuses of people who dont want to do anything for anything. Its suppose to all be free. The medicaid is suppose to take care of it …….. well guess what if you dont follow thru and give them the card it wont……. insurance was suppose to pay…… no you have copays and a deductible and a coinsurance no where on that contract you signed does it say i WILL PAY IT ALL signed you insurance company. The way you treat people on the otherside of the phone can effect your whole future they just got up to do a job they do not have to help you unless they want to so with that in mind do you think you will get more help if you yell and curse at them or if you kindly say can you help me I thibnk there may be a mistake and if not please tell me how to rectify the problem then if they become the proverbial pain its on them not you. thats my rant for today stay tuned for the next exciting blurb from junkyswife

am i important

In the scheme of things sometimes you wonder if you matter at all. You speak and your words go unheard and you love and you wonder if its felt. Then you go on wondering , trudging uphill to where you don’t know but you know you just got to get there. If I get there I will definately let you know where I have been. The hill seems to go on forever and you seem to get more and more tired guess that goes with mondays and having to get up and go to work and look forward to friday all over again. I think that is a measure of life we all deal with each and everyday trudging along one foot in front of the other aimlessly wondering until God opens our eyes to our purpose.