How do you know when you’ve made the right choices in life? How do you know when you’ve had enough bull to last you life time? What makes us choose the choices we’ve made? I wish I knew the answer to these specific questions for then I would know where I am suppose to be and what I am suppose to do?

grandkids are the light of my life. I try to keep my heart for me and it doesnt work. they love me unconditionally.

recently I told the truth not thinking about what it may do to anyone else. I was ask if my stepdaughter was cheating on one of her boyfriends and before i thoughn i said when is she not cheating. Well needless to say it got back to her every word i said and now she wont talk to me or her dad. Christmas came and went and not a word newyears came and went not a word so here i am worried about my grandbabies and cant even talk to them. yes I probably shouldnt have said anything but the truth was out of my mouth before i thought. Some day I hope she forgives me but it doesnt look likely in this life time. jackie nicole I love you but I will not lie for you. I miss aggravating you and talking with you but again i will no longer lie for you or for anyone else.

wish you would call just to let me know you are ok . guess thats wishful thinking too

july 28th just thought i should update this after a whole lot of praying and praying some more my daughter is speaking to me again and my grandson came to spend a glorious week with us it was awesome, thank you jesus

The other day i recieved a phone call from a person who had long been relagated to the past. It brought forward some conflicting emotions that I really didnt know answers too. So I took this opportunity and ask a few questions and found out that my problems from the long ago past wasnt that i wasnt pretty enough or smart enough its that men usually are pigs with nothing on their pea brains absolutely nothing.Not even hot air is wasting its time there, they are clueless but I thank God for the call for it made me realise that I am a beautiful person whos worth is not counted by other peoples thoughts but my own how they view me is of no consequence. Like me, Love me Hate me, Ignore me I am and will always be ME. Take me as I am or not at all for I only change according to Gods will and nothing more

I am sitting here at home alone. My husband had to take care of his dad and wont be home for the night most of my girl friends say wooohoo a free night not me I am down in the dumps for my best friend of 20 years is not here. There have been so many times that I am sure he would have given up on this nut called his wife and I am so glad he didnt for my life without him is absolutely nothing. 20 years later and I love him even more than when I married him. We have been thru a lot and a lot more yet to come but I don’t want to do it without him

WE MADE IT THROUGH ANOTHER DAY OF ANNOYING PEOPLE. ONE MORE DAY THAT ENDS WITH MY HEAD ON A LOVELY PILLOW BEING GLAD TO HEAR MY HUSBAND SNORE. JUST SO TIRED OF ATTITUDES OVER THINGS TOTALLY OUT OF MY CONTROL…… MY YAWNING SIGNALS PILLOW TIME SO I HOPE TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING BETTER TOMORROW BUT TO ALL THAT LOOK AT MY BLOG THANK YOU

here we go its Monday again and we are alive although we should be thankful we groan and grumble and snort and fart until the day is done then we look at as shew glad its over…. well today I am alive I am thankful to have a job a husband and Love. So today will be beautiful and mark the beginning of a brand new week which will be awesome for Im not gonna get down this week

We may have forgotten to say Im sorry when we hurt someones feelings. We may have decided to tell someone off in the fit of rage we sometimes have. All to regret what is and was said later. Once the words come out of our mouth there is no taking it back. I once wondered what my mom was talking about when she said” loose lips sink ships”. Boy was she ever right, it can ruin a friendship, end a marriage, cost you a job all for a few words that if we had just kept our mouth shut would never have happened. Well regret can take the form of actions as well,bought a car, had an affair, cheated on taxes we all have had our times of regret but we seem to move past them only to repeat it time and again. I thought regret was there to help us remember not to do it again for it was not a good thing.

Its always the littlest irritations in life that bother you the most. The phone ringing just as  you lay down at night. The dog barking or the loud muffler always making some sort of noise when all you are looking for is silence. The heart beat of life going on around you can annoy a patron saint on a good day but they dont ask us if their noise can invade our space it just is….. wonder if the neighbor down the road is thinking the very same thing at 6pm in the afternoon when your lawnmower cranks and he has justt settled in for his afternoon nap, or the lady down the street who takes a walk every afternoon wonder if the guys dog that is never tied or behind a fence wonder if hed actually bite. there are so many little things out there that annoys us all but we need to remember this earth is not our earth it is Gods earth and the noises of this earth is a sign he hasnt called us home yet so we should be happy that we hear them instead of the grumbling humans we all are we should be thankful for the many little annoyances of life.

why when you have the one you love does the littlest things seem to be pinpricks into your heart that make you feel your whole world will shatter at any given moment. why does it feel like its a never ending process to pick up the pieces and carry on just one more day one more hour. It seems like an eternity but its only been a few minutes the tears fall silently down your cheek in fear that if you make the heart wrenching sounds you want to make that the world will know how many splinters your life really has, all to get up again the next day with a plastered smile for no one really cares how much torment your mind is in all they care is that you tell them you are ok. It absolves them from having to deal with the fact that they may be the ones to have a negative impact, it absolves you from having to say more than fine and how are you. The polite little oddities we do to hide the unending eternal heartbreak of a mind tormented with grief and despair beyond what any scope could ever hope for all hidden behind the most beautiful smile.